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Miranda Frigon: Turning tragedy into hope

Miranda Frigon: Turning tragedy into hope

How Miranda is empowering women by opening up about her struggles with fertility.

Miranda Frigon is the very definition of fierce… Often dubbed the “Queen of Sci-Fi,” she currently stars as Paula Bowman, a no-nonsense, get things done zombie-slaying badass in Syfy’s DAY OF THE DEAD. You’ve also seen her on other hit shows like CW/CBC’s HEARTLAND, Hallmark’s THE AURORA TEAGARDEN MYSTERIES, CW’s CHARMED, THE MAGICIANS, and SUPERNATURAL just to name a few.  We recently had the opportunity to speak with Miranda about her latest projects, motherhood, her life’s greatest lessons, and why it’s so important to own your self-worth…

You have a myriad of film/TV credits across many genres. If you had to say which lesson learned along the way has been the most useful, what would that one lesson be?

Learning to love myself.  I used to base my self-worth on whether I was working or not and whether I was being “chosen” for parts.  It was hard.  When I’d book something, I felt so validated and worthy but when I didn’t, it was the opposite.  Every audition, I’d try to be what I thought they wanted me to be and I missed out on really showing myself. I’ve learned along the way that the best thing you can present in any situation, is YOU.  Quirks and all. We are all unique and special. Finding what you’re good at and what your “thing” is, will set you apart from everyone because no one can be you. Ever.  You still won’t book every part or get every job interview, but you’ll be remembered. If you know who you are and love yourself, it won’t matter who validates you on the outside because you’ll know that you’re amazing and worthy, no matter what. 

Currently, you star in Syfy’s Day of the Dead as Paula Bowman. What characteristics of yourself did you bring into this role to make Paula come alive as the fierce mother and zombie killer that she is?

I share with Paula a number of traits– one being determination. When I want something, I am laser-focused and go 110%. Sometimes when you’re that focused, you can forget to use your heart in the process.  I think that’s what gets Paula into a bit of a mess. I’m also a mama bear when it comes to protecting those I love or those who don’t feel confident to use their voices. I have absolutely zero problems with confrontation. I would walk down a dark alley and confront a 300lb man if he was messing with me or someone I love. I would actually, delusionally believe I could take him down too, haha.  I can have a bite and an edge to me sometimes, so it was fun to unleash that in Paula. 😉

On the flip side, what did Paula teach you about yourself during the filming process?

I had some of the toughest emotional moments of my life during filming. We were in the middle of the worst of Covid, and I was away from my family for a long time. Paula’s emotional moments in the show were also my emotional moments in my real life.  I had so much to draw from.  Through all of this, I was reminded that my family is the most important thing to me, and nothing is worth sacrificing that. I promised myself to always keep my priorities and values in the forefront. No matter what the cost– I would never be away from them like that again. It was a difficult situation to be in, having to choose a career or family but it really gave me gratitude for the people that are the most important to me. Without love, friendships and family, career and success mean nothing. 

In some ways, the world is a much more challenging place than the zombie-infested world of Day of the Dead. How do you balance your career, motherhood, and self-care?

This is definitely the challenge of my life right now. What I’m discovering is that I just can’t do it all or be everything all the time; I just have to do my best and take the pressure off. My life depends on starting my day from a peaceful, positive place and so I meditate every morning. That’s the only way I get through it. Doesn’t always keep me peaceful when the stress shows up, but I do my best!  After I’ve worked for a while, I usually make myself take a break for at least a few months so I can really be there for my family. I have to set my priorities in each moment, take one day at a time and check-in with myself on what’s most important. After being focused on my family for a few months, I’ll feel my inner self getting impatient, and then I know my soul is telling me it’s time to create and nourish myself. Balancing it all is hard, but I have to set my priorities and remember to try and be present in everything I do. If I live in the future or think about what I’m missing or should be doing, then I miss the whole point of it all. 

On behalf of many women struggling with IVF and infertility, we wanted to thank you for opening up the conversation of infertility and sharing your journey. What made you want to be so open when many women choose to face this heartbreaking struggle privately? 

I want to share my story because I know how lonely it feels to go through it.  I want to normalize it so women can stop beating themselves up into thinking there is something wrong with them. And I want to help inspire women to know that these challenges teach our souls to grow and are sometimes here to help us. I’ve come to embrace my journey. It doesn’t mean I don’t get sad every month that goes by I’m not pregnant or every time a fertility treatment fails.  I try to see the opportunity for growth in it and use it as a chance for me to practice trust. Trust in my body and trust in God and the Universe, whatever those things mean to you.  When there’s something I desire, I keep in mind that the Universe has 3 possible answers for me: 1. Yes. 2. Yes, but not right now. 3. I have something even better in-store. 

What advice can you give women who are on a similar journey? What can their family and friends do to support and encourage these women?

Support is to listen. To listen and to let us have our feelings. Don’t try to tell us what we should be doing differently and don’t tell us to “just let go and it will happen.”  Allow us to have our feelings and to mourn how we need to with each failed month or miscarriage. Everyone’s process takes time and it looks different for each of us. Give us love and your ear and encourage us by reminding us that we are putting out the energy and desire for what we want and it’s never for nothing. It’s hard to see the plan when you’re in the middle of the journey.  My journey to my little one was a huge leap in my growth, especially looking back. I believe my little girl was teaching me before I ever conceived her. Teaching me to stop trying to control everything, teaching me to practice trust and faith, and encouraging me to discover and work through my biggest issues.  It all made me a better mother for when she came. To all the beautiful mamas to be out there, trust your struggles. They are there to help you. 

On a lighter note, what fun holiday traditions do you celebrate with your family around this time of year?

My family still celebrates some of our Dutch traditions. On December 5th, we put out our wooden shoes and Sinter Klaas (Dutch version of Santa) comes and leaves us treats in our shoes. Every year my Oma (grandmother) would make cream puffs with chocolate syrup on top, then it got passed down to my mother and now my amazing sister Amanda takes it on every year. We look forward to them!  My husband’s family is Italian so we have a few little food traditions there too. His parents will make homemade cannoli’s, or we’ll get into a Panettone 🙂 A new holiday tradition I’ve created over the past 8 years is to do an Ugly Christmas photo. I make my husband and daughter dress up every year in a different theme and have a graphic artist do artwork on it. Then I print, frame, and wrap them for my family and film the moment everyone opens their present. It’s the best moment each year and everyone looks forward to it.

As 2021 comes to a close, what was your biggest takeaway from the year?

My biggest takeaway from this year was to practice acceptance.  This was one of the hardest years of my life…of everyone. We’re still in it. It turned our lives upside down in every way. When I was in my toughest moments I had to ask myself, how can I grow from this challenge and how can I still thrive, even under these circumstances? The answer is to surrender. There is no way I can control what is happening in the world, so I have to work on the acceptance of it and try to live my life in the most positive and hopeful way.  When you can’t change the outside, change the inside. 

Do you have anything exciting coming in 2022 that you can share?

We just finished filming our 18th movie for “The Aurora Teagarden Mysteries” and that will air in February 2022. Also, my good friend and celeb Marilu Henner and I have a new design show we’ve created and are currently pitching, so we have our fingers crossed our show will get made! 

Where can Lapalme readers go to stay up to date on all things Miranda Frigon?

You can stay up to date on my Instagram @mirandafrigon and my Facebook fan page! 

Photo Credit: Odessy Barbu